Snow!!!

We finally got snow yesterday! It was wet and heavy, so heavy that a bunch of branches from the neighbors' pine tree broke off and fell next to the house.

It was a rude awakening for Banjo. He still likes to go outside, but he can't stand the feeling of cold and snow on his paws. We tried doggie booties on him last year without success. He didn't want to ruin his reputation in the neighborhood because of some silly looking booties. I will likely try that again this year because I think if he really tried it, he would like it. It would allow him to hunt moles in the backyard for a longer period of time (he caught another one yesterday and hid it under the deck).

While it was sleeting outside, I cleaned and organized inside. I let my room get extremely messy, to the point where it was frustrating just walking in. I pulled everything down, dusted it off and rearranged. I love doing that kind of thing because I like changing things up every once in a while. It makes things feel new even when it's all the same stuff. I finally got around to hanging more of my pictures too. They had been cluttering the bookshelf and now they are hanging in nice clumps on the wall.

Another project this weekend has been cleaning out knitting patterns. I have the tendency of saving any knitting pattern that I remotely think is interesting, which often means there's not a chance in hell I'll actually knit that pattern any time soon if ever. I decided to clean house, and it felt amazing. At the same time, I went through my stash and pulled out some long lost yarn for Christmas knitting projects.

This impetus for this cleaning was that I did something I told myself I wasn't going to do: buy more yarn before I worked through what I already had. That's one of the main reasons I hadn't started knitting my own Christmas stocking - it meant I'd have to buy more yarn. I finally broke down and got it though because if I didn't now, I never would. I'm excited to get started on it. There's little chance I'll get it done before Christmas, but at least I can get a running start at it.

I've also started realistically thinking about projects I want to get done next year. I have big plans, and hopefully those plans remain realistic! I think I'll be able to get a lot more done since we won't be planning a wedding! And for those of you who are wondering, we are still working on the thank-yous. We're taking our time because we're enjoying all the awesome gifts you got us!

Ghoulish Halloween Recap

We had about 80 trick-or-treaters this year (about 10 more than last). Chris wasn't working so he dressed up with me and we tag-teamed handing out the candy. We barricaded Banjo in the dining room to prevent him from eating the little monsters. He let out a bone-chilling howl each time we opened the door (Banjo made me write that - in actuality, all the kids asked "What's that?" He was mortified and will work on making his howl more terrifying for next year.) In addition to decorating the porch, we also put on costumes. Chris was a pumpkin and I was a bumble bee.

To kick off the Halloween weekend, we went to a costume party at G & P's. I was dressed as an Angry Bird (this was a blue bird costume for those who haven't enjoyed the game Angry Birds) and Chris wore the same pumpkin. The blue bird costume was actually one my mom made way back when and she wore it way back when. My friends determined my mom must have been quite silly and figured that's where I must have gotten it.

(Thanks for the pics Sarah)

Celebrations!

Congratulations to Autumn and James! May you continue to grow together and enjoy sharing your lives with one another!

We got to go to New Jersey for our friends' wedding a couple of weekends ago and it was wonderful. The ceremony was beautiful, the reception was a blast, and I had an amazing time. I more thoroughly appreciate all of the effort that goes into a wedding, especially when I see friends going through a lot of the same struggles I went through. It is a great feeling to see it all come together.

In addition to celebrating, we spent time in Pennsylvania visiting family and family friends. I immensely enjoyed hearing Mom Mom's stories and I loved relaxing (and often eating) with Cheryl and Jabbour (thank you again!). Although I felt like all I did was eat over the course of the week, that made it feel more like home. I was very excited that I got to truly meet family friends when we visited. The first time we met, I had a horrible migraine, which meant I got to say 'hi' and 'goodnight.' We really are connected to some great people. And I was extremely excited to enter the wonderful Josh Early candy store, scratch that, candy paradise. Yum yum!

Coming to term with high expectations

I am part of Toastmasters, the group that helps people practice public speaking. I also became the secretary (with strong encouragement). Given an officer's position in the club and given how involved everyone seemed to be when I first joined, I had extremely high expectations. I assumed most everyone was always invested in the club, always striving to be better and help all members achieve their goals.

Today I discovered people have competing priorities, and a volunteer/club usually comes out being a lower priority. The officers of the club met today to discuss various club business (upcoming events, meeting certain goals, etc.). One of the topics of conversation was the increasingly lax participation by various members. People have been canceling at the last minute when scheduled to give a speech or failing to show up at all. It has been becoming frustrating to see. When myself and another member brought this up, the long-standing officers commented the participation rate ebbs and flows - in other words, that's the way it is.

I am still trying to come to terms with that. It's not so much about the club itself because I understand this is voluntary; it's about the fact that everyone around the table is settling. That's the way it is, so why attempt to change it. That's the way it's always been, so why try to make it better.

The reason I'm becoming frustrated is because that's what I see all the time at work. People have stopped making suggestions for improvements, they have become silent workers because they have been shot down so many times. What's the point in getting shot down again? Why try when they know the answer going into it? I'm most frustrated because I see myself heading down that path, and it scares me. I don't want to settle. I want to like what I do, and I don't know if I do anymore. I realize I've only been working there for over three years and I keep hearing that I should be happy I have a job, and I am happy I'm receiving a paycheck. I'm not happy that I'm letting myself be dragged down because I'm no longer passionate about what I'm doing. I continuously see the majority of people in my work environment thinking the work I'm doing really isn't that important. If they don't see value in it, why should I continue to do it?

I really miss being challenged. I miss being excited about the project I'm working on. I rarely have projects anymore. I work on budgets. I work on software. I lack an overall direction.

So what am I doing about it? I'm going to talk to my boss about it. She might not be able to help, but at least she'll listen and maybe be able to throw an exciting project my way. In the meantime, I'm going to try to stay sane and not lose my mind to boredom.

The Gift of Flight

For our wedding, Chris's parents gave Chris and I the gift of flight...for one hour. It's not like a video game power-up - it was a gift certificate for a one-hour helicopter ride with Minnesota Helicopters. I just about died with happiness when we opened it.

For those who are unaware, I toyed around with the idea of becoming a helicopter pilot. I have never taken any lessons because of the cost, but I thought about joining the military to pay for flight school.

Chris and I cashed in the certificate last Saturday on a gloriously clear afternoon. We chose to start shortly before dusk (we wanted to blind the pilot for at least part of the trip). I was lucky enough to get the front seat :) We circled downtown Minneapolis, flew over our house, around downtown St. Paul, and finally followed the St. Croix. It was unbelievably incredible, especially seeing how large the mansions on Summit look even from 800 feet up and how flooded the river still it.

Chris brought up his camera for some fun shots, although I will only be posting one today:

Yes, I am alive

Hmm...almost a whole month without posting anything...

I've been attempting to focus. I feel like my mind is pulling me in a lot of different directions and I can't seem to choose that direction (or keep up!). Part of the reason is that I find myself going through a cycle of liking my job for a bit and then not liking my job for a while. I'm now in the phase of liking it again, mainly because I'm deciding what I work on and I basically haven't had any interruptions for about three weeks. It's been quite fantastic.

I've been lacking a big goal. This spring, it was gardening and the wedding. Now I'm left with a large chunk of time (which one would think I would use to write all of my thank-you's from the wedding). I have been thinking about new endeavors, but I need to think about it more. I have been knitting a bunch, which is quite fun. I am working on Kim's Christmas stocking (which is technically her gift from last Christmas). I'm also been knitting for myself - I have a new scarf and am working on a neck warmer - it turns out when I have short hair, my neck tends to get chilly!

I've also been biking to work often, which is fantastic with my short hair cut. I've noticed I'm a stronger biker and have been slowly improving my speed. It gives me time to think about things and to enjoy the fall leaves changing color.

Next week, Chris and I are headed out to Pennsylvania for our friends' wedding and to visit family. I am super excited about the wedding and seeing them!

The hunt to Courage-ville

I recently cut my hair short, shorter than I've ever had it. Most people react with praise, and some act surprised, refusing to say what they really think. Those people have asked me why I decided to cut my hair so short. The reason is because I'm tired of other people defining what beauty is. I'm tired of blindly following.

I had really long hair for a really long time. I told myself I wouldn't cut my hair until I was 30 because my hair was too pretty to cut short. I had various boyfriends and potential boyfriends tell me how much they loved my hair. I foolishly began to believe long hair was the reason I should consider myself beautiful. Those were the days I spent a ridiculous amount of time drying it, combing it and curling it. It was pretty, but it was never the reason I found myself beautiful. It's taken me a while to realize that.

As those around me know, I've been toying with shorter hair for the past few years. That's when I finally cut my hair shorter again (chin length - watch out!). Then I'd let it grow out, waiting about six months to a year to get it cut again. I quickly lost interest in spending a lot of time on my hair. I had so many other things to do with my life.

I really didn't like growing my hair out for the wedding, but I knew how much I'd love it on the day. That kept me from the barber's chair. But after the wedding, away it went, but only to chin length again. It went along like that until I decided to schedule another appointment. An hour before my appointment, I searched around on the Internet for a hair style. I lack the ability to adequately describe what I'd like, so I bring in pictures. I found an adorable chin-length hair cut...and I found a really short, wild hair cut. I printed both, unsure if I had it in me to cut it crazy short.

When I got there, I showed Andrea the pics. I said I was leaning towards the wild cut and she said, "That's the one". She was so ridiculously excited to cut my hair that short. She said I made her night. As the hair fell off my head onto the floor, I was continuously amazed that I had finally done it. I finally found the courage to cut it off, to create my own sense of beauty.

Welcome to Courage-ville: