Case of the blehs

I should not be writing at the moment because I feel frustrated.  I can't seem to focus on anything and I haven't been sleeping great the past few weeks.  The main issue is work.  A piece of the issue is that I have three major projects going on right now and each one seems to take more time than I anticipate.  Because each of those projects has a deadline of ASAP, I'm feeling a lot of pressure and I haven't figured out quite how to deal with it yet.  For the past couple weeks, I've been bringing work home with me because there never seems to be enough time during the day to do them. 

One thing that really irks me is one of the major projects is a new initiative at a time when we already don't have enough people to do the work we're currently doing, and it's a project that's not going to provide much benefit.  A group of us objected several times, but one of the higher ups (who has no concept of how time-consuming this project is) said to do it, so we have to do it.  One of my team members said long ago there's no point in fighting it and after several attempts, I finally accepted that.  But what I can't accept is the fact that my opinion doesn't matter.  Everything we said was listened to and without a moment's hesitation, we were told what we needed to do next to push the project forward.  I finally understand why so many don't bother speaking up anymore.  It may not be worth the frustration and effort.

The main issue weighing on my mind is that even though I'm busting my ass on these projects, there's still a chance I may lose my job in 2010 or 2011.  The Governor's proposed cuts to local government aid means there are many jobs on the cutting block.  It's the nature of government work I guess.  I just wish everyone in my division cared about the quality of their work and exceeded the minimum expectations.  If the bare minimum is all they are willing to do, maybe it's time to raise the bar. 

What I need to remember is that I'm lucky enough to still have a job right now.  I am grateful for that.  I hope I can find my sanity again someday soon.  What I really needed was to vent so thanks for listening to my whining and bitching.